FRINGE LIMERICKS!!! Vol. 2

Here you have it: Squawk, The Rise of General Arthur, Crescendo, Monster, and the Gayer Show in limerick form! Now with snarky commentary in italics! More forthcoming! See volume 1 here!

Squawk by Walking Shadow – 4.5/5

There once was a penguin recruit
Who the army liked ‘cause he was cute.
But then he said fuck it,
I am no one’s  puppet!
My ambition will be resolute!

if you speak penguin, you’d recognize the last three lines as a direct quote from Lt. Faulkland. All other lines translate roughly to “arctic circle, beeyotch.”

The Rise of General Arthur by Maximum Verbosity – 4/5

There once was a camo-clad knight
and a questing beast he tried to fight
like some metaphor
for a misguided war
or something like that, am I right?

I actually don’t know if that’s what Phillip was going for, but I made that connection. And if he wasn’t going for that, well, maybe he shouldn’t have all the mythical creatures have something to do with oil.

Monster by Theatre Pro Rata – 4.5/5

There once was a child named Boyle
Whose actions made others recoil
One man plays 15,
and without any seams,
Like machinery recently oiled.

this review doesn’t really do justice to the creepiness of the show, but such are the compromises you have to make sometimes when you review whole shows in 5 short rhyming lines.

Crescendo by Allegra Lingo – 4/5

Allegra’s a great storyteller,
her prose is rich like Rockafeller,
with a musical score,
you couldn’t want more,
Unless your name is Hellen Keller.

you have to admit, HK really wouldn’t like Allegra’s show very much.

The Gayer Show by The Adventures of Les Kurkendaal and Dan Bernitt – 3.5/5

In fringe there are many shows gay
But one was far gayer than they
Though Les could slow down,
I saw not a frown
From this show, which was so, so, SO gay.

Although, for the record, it could definitely have been gayer. Although, really, any show can always be gayer. Well, except for my idea to act out all of John Waters’ early films as if all parts not played by Divine were played by either Beyonce or Liza Minelli, all done while engaging in gay sex onstage. I plan on calling it “Untitled Duet with Buttplug”.